Nothing Gold can Stay
by Ana of Asgard
Summary: Thor tries to bring Loki back, but things go horribly awry. Warning for heavy angst. NOT A FIX-IT.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - No, I'm not dead.**

 **I haven't posted in a while, I know. Life's just crazy and I'm out of the country too, but I managed to squeeze enough time to write this.**

 **This fic is Post-IW, and I'm not planning for it to become a fix-it. More notes at the end.**

* * *

 _Nature's first green is gold,_

 _her hardest hue to hold._

 _Her early leaf's a flower,_

 _but only so_ _an hour._

 _So leaf subsides to leaf,_

 _so Eden sank to grief._

 _So dawn goes down to day,_

 _nothing gold can stay._

 _\- 'Nothing Gold Can Stay', Robert Frost._

* * *

Thor felt Natasha walking up to him, but he didn't move.

It was too dark to make out her features, but her silhouette was outlined in pale starlight. She gracefully slid down next to him, back against the wall, hugging her knees.

Thor didn't bother wiping the tears off his cheek. There was no point in a facade of strength. Everyone in the universe was breaking, and Thor was not spared.

Thor hoped she was not going to do of her little 'friendly' chats, that eventually turned out to be an interrogation peppered with thoughtful lies. He was not in the mood for one right now.

The silence was deafening, but Natasha made no move to end it.

"How is everyone," Thor said at last, voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

Thor felt rather than saw her humorless smile.

"As well as you'd expect them to be," she answered quietly. "Steve's wandered off somewhere, saying he wanted to be left alone. Rocket's locked himself in his room, and I doubt he's coming out anytime soon. And everyone else, Okoye, Bruce, Shuri, they're all in their rooms too, but I'd be surprised if anyone's sleeping."

"Rocket?" Thor forced out of a dry mouth, ducking his head and brushing the tear tracks off his face.

Natasha chuckled dryly. "Or 'Rabbit', as you call him."

"Ah."

As they once more lapsed into silence, Thor's thoughts drifted to his human friends. They, too, must feel grief. In a most un-Thor-like manner, Thor had entirely disregarded their own feelings.

Yet it was hard for him to compare their grief with his own. Steve, at least, he could understand somewhat. From what he knew, this 'Bucky' had practically grown up with Steve. There was some other complicated story about Hydra and the 'Winter Soldier' that no one bothered to explain to Thor.

These people were grieving at most forty years of friendship, but Thor was mourning fifteen hundred years of brotherhood and companionship, fifteen centuries of waking up in bed and knowing that Loki was going to come down to breakfast with him, that Loki would always be _there_ , hovering at Thor's side.

And now he was gone.

Suddenly, Natasha's cool hand resting over his own startled Thor out of his thoughts.

"It's not your fault, Thor," she was saying, and Thor was once again brutally reminded of the fact that he kept trying to forget.

Thor had failed Earth.

He had failed the human people he had sworn to protect, he had failed Asgard, the Golden Realm, he had failed the _universe._ He had failed Frigga. He had failed Odin. And he had failed Loki.

Thor, the God of Thunder, had failed.

Thor stiffened, not bothering to stop the already forbidding grey clouds from gathering. His body cackled with electricity, and Natasha quickly pulled her hand away.

Natasha was rubbing his back soothingly and somewhat hesitatingly, murmuring soft words of comfort in a low voice.

Mind hazy, Thor suddenly envisioned Natasha holding his hand and telling him in a soft voice, _The sun's getting down, big guy, it's getting real low,_ and resisted the urge to laugh hysterically. If this went on, soon, the Avengers would have another Hulk on their hands.

"It is my fault," Thor interrupted suddenly. "I could've thrown it at the head. It would've been the calculated, sensible thing to do. But I was too prideful. I wanted to gloat." Thor spat. "I haven't changed from that impulsive boy Odin cast down to Midgard."

Thor expected Natasha to say something along the lines of, _We all make mistakes,_ but she didn't.

Natasha gazed at him keenly. "Why did you want to gloat, Thor?"

With the blood still hot and singing through his veins, the question drained the energy out of him and Thor's shoulders slumped.

"He killed my brother," Thor said in the barest hint of a whisper, and then he had to turn his face away, for simply saying 'my brother' was too much.

He wished Natasha would leave, because if she at least knew Loki the way Thor knew him, then there would be some comfort there. But all Natasha saw was a monster, a murdering maniac who slaughtered innocent lives.

Thor looked up to see Natasha still studying him intently. "You're judging me," he said bitterly.

Natasha shook her head the slightest bit. "No, admiring you," she confessed. "If even Clint betrayed me _once,_ I don't think I can ever call him friend again."

"Well, come back when you've been Clint's sister for 15 centuries."

Thor regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. There was a reason he hid his actual age from the Avengers.

Inevitably, his age had come up in his conversations with the humans. After laughing over the story about Loki and the horse, and flushing after confessing that the myth concerning Thor and a certain dress held a grain of truth, Banner had asked the question. _How old are you, Thor?_

Thor had smiled and dodged the question, _implying_ that he was nearly double the age of Steve. He didn't want the humans to treat him differently because of his age. The Avengers had accepted the answer. Even Natasha, as it turns out.

Only person had taught Thor to lie so well.

Ignoring Natasha for the moment, Thor gritted his teeth, eye stinging with pain. _Loki._ No matter how many times Thor tried to push away thoughts about his brother, they kept coming back. The lives of Loki and Thor had been so closely entwined that it was impossible to simply _forget_ Loki.

Loki. His _little brother._ The shy, self-conscious child, to the sly, intelligent teen to the silent, brooding young boy to the broken man he'd been, covering up fears with arrogance, self-loathing with pride, and insecurities with rage.

Thor had _failed._ No, he hadn't simply failed to keep Loki from dying, he had failed to stop Loki from wandering down the path of cruelty and darkness, he had pushed away Loki in his youth and now Loki was too far to pull back.

"Excuse me," Thor muttered to Natasha, rising to his feet brusquely and walking back to his room. He couldn't stand being here anymore. He just wanted to bury into his bed and cry himself to sleep like a little boy.

On his way there, Thor no longer fought to keep his train of thought about Loki, but let his mind wander.

Thor would not be considered a fool for choosing to believe Loki had faked his death, yet again. Four times Loki had tricked Thor into believing he was dead, and two of them had occurred in his past decade.

The first one had been when they were still boys. Thor and Loki were playing in a stream in Vanaheim, and after growing angry with a number of Loki's tricks and taunts, Thor had pushed Loki underwater and held him there for a good amount of time. Loki had thrashed and kicked, and feeling somewhat guilty Thor had let Loki go, only to discover Loki had failed to rise to the surface, and was _gone._ The shock and fear had only lasted for half a minute, before Loki emerged from the water, laughing and saying he'd changed into a fish.

But the second, oh, the _second_ time had been far worse. In their adolescence, Thor often left Loki out and went on 'adventures' with the Warriors Three. Loki never _seemed_ to mind (Thor could only rue and curse his foolhardy now) until Thor invited Sif, a beautiful female warrior who's company Thor enjoyed very much.

Loki had lashed out, but not in wild anger as Thor would, but in cold, calculated cruelty. For all Sif's claims of being a 'warrior', she greatly prided her long, rich gold hair that fell past her waist, and Loki knew this. In the middle of the night, Loki teleported into her chambers with a long knife, and with a swift stroke he cut her hair short, and dyed the choppy bits remaining black with an irreversible spell.

Sif was inconsolable when she awoke, and hell, Thor was _furious_. He hadn't been on good terms with Loki, and with his blood boiling Thor asked around for Loki, who seemed to be miraculously missing. Thor flew around on Mjolnir, cursing that _weak coward_ under his breath the whole while.

Loki was eventually found standing on the edge of a grassy cliff, smirking faintly when he saw Thor arrive, blue eyes blazing and promising wrath. Thor had yelled, Loki had answered mildly with amused, sarcastic taunts, simply fueling the fire of Thor's anger.

And Thor had simply _snapped_. He swung Mjolnir at Loki in a powerful swing, expecting Loki to simply dodge. Except, Loki _didn't._ Thor stiffened and Loki's face froze in horror for the briefest of moments, before he fell backwards and stumbled over the cliff.

Ice cold fear, horror, and guilt replaced the fire in his blood. Thor had jumped after Loki with Mjolnir in hand, but he was too late. Loki lay on the ground, bones bent at odd angles, face unnaturally white. Heimdall, who had seen what happened, sent for Odin, Frigga, and the healers. Loki, as it turned out, was not dead, but badly hurt and unconscious.

Sif's hair forgotten, Thor was in grief, heart twisting in guilty pain. He stayed by Loki's side without leaving for over a week, until thanks to the healers and Loki's own magic, Loki was healed.

Over a hundred years later, when that memory was simply a dull, painful memory at the back of Thor's mind, Loki had confessed to Thor that he'd _wanted_ to fall. _"I knew you'd find me," Loki said, dark green eyes glinting. "So I waited for you by the cliff. I knew you'd hit me without thinking, and I knew I'd fall. I wanted to."_

 _"Why ever would you want such a terrible thing?" asked Thor in horror. Loki smiled faintly._

 _"I wanted you back, Thor," he said quietly. "And it worked."_

That was Loki for you, thought Thor with a bitter smile. Loki decided what he wanted, and went to extreme lengths to get it. Loki's rather foolish plan had worked, after all. Thor had dragged Loki along with him everywhere for long after that.

When Loki had let go at the Bifrost, Thor had felt the same feeling of shock, grief and horror, the same twisting of heart and the same pain. When Loki 'died' in Thor's arms at Svartalfheim, it had been far worse.

But when Thor had heard the sickening crunch of bone when Thanos snapped Loki's neck, when he heard that fatal, final thump of Loki's lifeless body hitting the floor, that was when Thor truly knew grief.

He felt as thought a piece of himself had been ripped away, a part of his soul had shattered. Screaming Loki's name behind the metal gag, thrashing in his bonds and cursing the Norns, that was pain, that was true pain.

Shuddering out a sigh, Thor opened the door to his room.

And froze, as he saw the very object of his distress right in the middle.

Thor let out a strangled cry at the sight of _Loki_ himself, dressed in his traditional golden Asgardian armor, complete with the horned helmet and flowing green cape. He was wearing his familiar lazy, amused grin, one eyebrow cocked almost elegantly.

"Why, hello there, _Thor,_ " drawled Loki, green eyes twinkling wickedly. "I almost didn't see you there. So how was—"

That was how far Loki got before Thor rushed forward and seized his brother's shoulder, heart beating frantically with hope.

His hand went right through Loki's shoulder.

Thor gasped out a choked yelp, tears smarting his eye suddenly. 'Loki' had been nothing more than a twisted taunt from his imagination, a hallucination. The Norns weren't content to snatch his brother right under his nose, no, now they had to fucking _mock_ him now.

He stumbled to his knees at the edge of his bed, kneeling over and burying his face blindly into the overly plush pillow, sobbing. Oh, Loki, his sly, cunning, trickster of a brother. Arrogant and cruel but broken underneath, brittle when Thor carelessly shoved him aside, fractured beyond repair when Odin confirmed that Loki was adopted, shattered into millions of pieces when the words, _No, Loki_ were uttered at the Bifrost.

Thor bitterly regretted the words he'd spoken after Loki revealed the Tesseract. _You really are the worst brother._

Loki had said far more cruel things to Thor, going so far as to disown him. Thor _knew_ that when Loki said such terrible, hurtful things, it was only to cover up the fact that Loki was hurting far, far much more. But when Thor would say something against Loki, even in jest, Loki would hold onto those words in his heart for a long, long time. Thor was sure those words had been echoing in Loki's head, even as he was taking his dying breath.

"Damn you, Loki, you fool," Thor cried out, voice thick with sorrow, anger, regret and affection. Loki, his little brother, his _baby brother_ , so shy, so insecure, so broken and so secretive. Loki, oh Loki…

"If this is how you mourned for me last time," said a quieted, sober voice that held a ring of dry humor, "then I probably should've been more than honored."

Thor stiffened once again. "I know it's not you," he said, unable to face 'Loki', for fear it will bring fresh pangs of grief.

Lowering his gaze to the ground, Thor quickly turned around and put his fist through the illusion of Loki he knew would be there.

Except, his fist didn't.

Loki hastily danced out of reach with an agility and grace that Thor had always envied. "Stop it, you fool!" Loki snapped. "Valhalla is already displeased enough with this. If you keep touching me they might as well cut the visit short. I only have a couple of minutes."

Thor's heart thudded as he raised his eye and stared directly at Loki. " _Loki?_ " he asked in disbelief.

"No," interrupted Loki cuttingly. "No, unfortunately I haven't faked my death this time, but unsurprisingly, there's been some confusion about my death. Supposedly I died "heroically", but then I've committed far too many crimes to be sent to Valhalla. You know the way I have with words—it took me some time, but I've managed to bargain a few minutes."

"A few minutes of _what_?"

"You idiot of an oaf, must _everything_ be explained to you? Very well. I've bargained a few minutes of speaking with a living person, before being to Hel."

Thor's jaw dropped. Before this, he'd naturally assumed Loki was going to Valhalla.

Before Thor could rant and demand _answers_ , Loki made a clucking sound with his tongue and held up a hand. "Ah-ah-ah," he said. "Take all those undoubtedly foolish, idiotic phrases and shove them back down your throat. I have some things to say, and if I'm going to be explaining every minor detail to you we're going to be here until Rag—" Loki stiffened slightly, then went on as if nothing had happened, "…until the next century."

"If you can listen without speaking," said Loki, "then do so now." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," and Thor remembered how _hard_ it was for Loki to admit he was sorry, or he was wrong.

Before Thor could reply, Loki kept on speaking. "For everything, Thor. For usurping the throne, for New York, for your coronation. And I want you to know that-that whenever I'd say I wasn't your brother, I didn't mean it. Oh, Thor, I never meant it. I was always your brother, I _longed_ to be your brother, I just said I wasn't your brother so I could say it before you would, to act like I didn't care that we were adopted, but I do, I really do, and…"

"I know, Loki," Thor interrupted softly, and that was when Loki started crying.

"I _wanted_ to hate you so much, Thor. I don't know if you'll understand, but I hated you for not giving me a reason to hate you. Oh gods, Thor, I love you so damn much, _brother._ I can't explain it, it doesn't make sense, but I do."

"It makes perfect sense to me," said Thor, and suddenly he was crying too. He yearned to reach out and hug Loki.

That was when Loki's hands started to fade away.

Loki let out a frantic cry, dark green eyes widening with fear. "Thor," he cried out in a strangled voice. "Thor, _brother,_ please, please don't let them take me."

Thor started crying harder. "Brother," he said, scared to touch Loki lest he fade away faster.

"I don't want to go, Thor, I can't, I'm not ready to go, please Thor," panicked Loki wildly. "I beg of you, Thor, please. _Thor!"_ Loki screamed, and suddenly he was gone.

Thor's heart thudded wildly in his chest as he stared at the empty place where the ghost of his brother had been.

 _Thor, brother, please don't let them take me….I don't want to go, Thor, I can't…I beg of you, Thor, please._

Iron-hot bands of burning metal wrapped around Thor's heart. Loki, oh Loki….

And in an instant, the pain and grief were instantly replaced by resolve and grim determination.

When would the Mighty Thor back down from a fight? _Especially_ when his family was involved?

Thor was going to get his brother back.

And _damn_ the consequences.

—

 **A/N - I'm not sure if I'll continue this. It was fun to write, but it mostly depends on how many people want to see another chapter. But if I do add to it, at most it'll be a four chapter fic, filled with heavy angst and terrible things. Definitely not going to be a fix-it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Ah, you amazing reviewers. You inspired me to write this monstrous chapter. As for the horrible wait, well, I learned the hard way that you can't exactly write 7k _and_ travel out of the country in a week. **

**This was going to be just an awful, angsty fic, but then I got an inspiration for _plot_. Oh joy. I can't promise a quick update, but I hope to have at _least_ one more chapter. **

**Keep in mind that this is solely a Loki & Thor fic. There are shameless appearances from other Avengers as well. Somehow Tony and Nebula got to Wakanda, and somehow Clint is there too. _Why? How?_ Because I do whatever the fuck I want. I did my best to keep the Avengers in character, but please don't be annoyed because Steve and Tony don't talk over their 'issues' and stuff like that. Like I said, I may write a post-Infinity War fic where the Avengers deal with their problems. But this is about Loki, Thor, and their crappy life-decisions. **

**There are mentions of my other fic, Hospitality. If you don't want to read it, basically it covers Loki and Gamora's twisted version of 'friendship' after Loki fell from the Bifrost and met Thanos. If you _do_ read it, keep in mind that it was one of my earlier fics. It may not be up to this fic's standard. **

**This chapter may have some triggering content about raising people from the dead and whatnot. Look to the bottom of this monster of a chapter to read about them in detail, but keep it mind that there are spoilers.**

 **WARNING for an evil cliffy**

 **Enjoy 3**

 **—**

"A son of Odin… _here_ ," drawled a lazy, musing voice. "The world must be ending, oh wait, it _is._ "

"Haha, very funny," bit back Thor. "But I'm not here to banter."

In a shower of golden sparks ( _ever_ one for drama) a beautiful, golden-haired girl appeared directly in front of Thor's nose, batting long, black eyelashes obnoxiously.

"Aw, so short with your, ah, _ex-girlfriend,_ isn't that what Midgard calls it?" asked the girl, purposefully resting her weight on one foot, emphasizing the seductive curve of her hip.

"Mmm, I don't think so," answered Thor, trying to clamp down on the rising feelings of rage. Getting angry wasn't going to help at all. "You see, _relationships_ generally deal with mutual feelings of affection from both parties. Our so-called 'relationship' mostly consisted of _Oh my god, Thor, I love him so much. I want him to be my mate for life_ on your side _,_ and _Damn, she looks hot today. Let's have sex now,_ on my side."

Amora hissed and spun around, pacing back and forth. "I should kick you out of here now, Odinson. Your very presence here is filthying my halls."

Thor didn't flinch. "You know why I'm here."

"How could I not?"

"Can you do it?"

Amora smirked cruelly. "Oh, it's not a question of _can_ I do it, darling." With a flick of her hand, she disappeared, and suddenly she was behind Thor, breathing into his ear.

"The question is, _will_ I do it."

Long, slender fingers trailed over his arm, causing goosebumps to involuntarily rise.

Thor brushed her off in irritation. "There _is_ not question of 'will' you do it," he said. "You know as well as I do that you _must_ do it."

Amora cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, I must now, mustn't I?"

Any other time, Thor might've enjoyed bantering and teasing with Amora, but now all he could think of was Loki begging Thor, _Don't let them take me, please, brother…._

Loki _never_ begged. Thor's heart constricted within him.

Letting out a low growl, Thor seized a smiling Amora's arm and shoved her against the wall, pressing his larger frame against her smaller one threateningly. "Yes, you must," he said. "Loki and I saved your life. You swore on your life-magic that you would return the favor."

"Oh _darling_ , did you really think I forgot?" drawled Amora. "I didn't—I just _adore_ seeing you all hot and bothered and dominative like this." She leaned closer into Thor. "In fact…it's kind of a turn-on."

Thor stepped away from her and pushed her back in disgust. Amora just winked at him.

"But yes, you are right," said Amora, quickly changing into a more practical manner. "I do owe you one—might as well finish it off now."

Pleased that Amora had given up on 'seducing' him, Thor wrung his hands anxiously. "What needs to be done?" he asked. "I can help."

"Ah, little sugar-cake," answered Amora, who was in a surprisingly good mood. "You're going to do more than just help. You're going to do the whole thing."

"Then how exactly are you returning the favor?" demanded Thor.

Amora rolled her eyes. "Did you seriously expect me to do the whole thing myself?" she said incredulously. "Honey, there's a _reason_ this was banned from the Nine. Raising a person from the dead is the worst kind of black magic there is possible. Once you dip a toe in, there's no getting out."

While she was speaking, Amora summoned a piece of parchment out of thin air, along with a pen and a small wooden table. She began scribbling down words in rapid strokes, talking the whole while.

"And although I _have_ experimented with quite a few of those illegal spells, well, how are they illegal _now_ if there's no kingdom to declare them illegal?" Amora laughed carelessly. "Anyway. I'm not foolish enough to try to raise a person from the dead. No, I'm not dipping the toe, I'm helping _you_ dip the toe."

She stood up, then pushed the paper against Thor's chest as she walked briskly by. "Learn the spell," she said. "I'll go get the body."

Thor swallowed hard. "The _body_?"

Amora stopped in her tracks, then spun around on a heel. "Of _course_ you need the body to do this!" she said, throwing her hands up. "Loki's quite a powerful sorcerer, second, _obviously_ , to me. The moment Thanos snapped his neck,"—Thor did _not_ appreciate the way she slashed at her own throat mockingly for demonstration,—"I felt his magic disconnect from his body. I knew that you'll be here sooner or later, being the sentimental fool that Loki rightly refers to you as. So I teleported it here, right after Loki's protection charm took hold."

Thor hated feeling so ignorant—there was only one person Thor allowed to tease him and mock him for being so shallow, and that was Loki. But he wanted to know.

"Protection charm?" asked Thor stupidly, and to her credit, Amora did not mock his ignorance.

"When he died," she explained. "He used the last of his magic to cast a protective charm on you. I can't believe you seriously thought you survived by your own _might_."

Scoffing, Amora turned back around and left.

Thor stared at the parchment in his shaking hands. He was going to do it. He was going to do the impossible—he was going to raise Loki from the dead.

Thor felt sick.

If not even _Amora_ would dare to raise someone from the dead, then no one should even endeavor in that area. Yet here was Thor, wholly inexperienced in the art of 'magic' and sorcery, about to do the very thing.

But then, this was for Loki. His brother. _I assure you, brother, the sun will shine upon us again._ That, at least for Thor, could never be true, even if he and the Avengers managed to beat Thanos. His whole life was shattered at his feet. Loki was the only family he had left at the moment, and Thor was not going to give up on him.

With a heavy sigh, Thor looked at the paper in his hands and began studying.

—

Amora wheeled Loki's body in on a smooth silver cart, but Thor needn't have worried about coming face-to-face with what remained of Loki.

Thoughtfully (for once), Amora had draped a long white sheet over his lifeless body. Thor's pulse picked up.

Swallowed hard and balling his fists, Thor forced himself to walk over to her. He resolutely stared at the ground and avoided the sight of Loki's body.

Amora stood next to him, calmly surveying the cold, lifeless figure. "I've never done this before," she said, taking on a more somber tone. "So I'm not sure if he'll wake up with the memory of his death, or not. If he wakes, and if he has no remembrance of his passing…" her eyes met Thor's. "I don't think it'll be in his best interest to enlighten him."

 _Great_. Thor doubted he could lie to Loki convincingly, but at the moment that was the least of his worries. "What do I do now, then?" he asked, mouth dry.

"Typically, only people who can harness their 'magic' try this," Amora said. "Raising someone from the dead requires an energy source." She studied Thor. "But I'm pretty sure your lightning could do the same thing. To some extent."

With a flick of her hand, Amora vanished a large chunk of the ceiling. "Strike yourself with the lightning," she ordered. "Then channel it into Loki's body. You've gotta be quick, though. Pull out that paper I gave you, say the words, and then…" her voice trailed off.

"And then?"

Amora smirked. "Well, either Loki comes back to life, or you die a horrible, gruesome, cursed death."

"Right."

With a wicked gleam in her eye, Amora clapped her hands together. "Well, then, _God of Thunder_ , let's begin."

—

When the powerful lightning bolt struck Thor, it was barely even a tickle. Everything he saw was hazy at the edges, and Stormbreaker sang at his side.

"Thor, _now!_ " Amora shrieked. Her voice was faint above the white noise in Thor's ears, but he caught it anyway.

Gritting his teeth, Thor thrust out Stormbreaker, and shuddered as the dancing white-hot electricity slipped from him and into Loki's body.

The lightning encased Loki's body, cackling, burning away the white cloth as though it were nothing. Thor was vaguely aware of Amora tugging his sleeve.

Blindly, Thor fumbled over the crisp paper, echoing the words in a shaking voice. The room filled with burning white light, then silence.

Thor froze.

Thor gazed intently at Loki's pale, still body, willing it to move. _Please, Norns, you took everything from me. Let me take at least this one thing back._

Loki didn't move.

Thor didn't know how long he stood there, unmoving. _It didn't work,_ his mind screamed at him, but Thor refused to believe it. He'd put so much faith, so much hope into this that it simply couldn't _not_ work.

If this didn't work, Thor didn't know what he'd do.

Amora put a hand on his shoulder. "Thor," she murmured. "The spell…it failed."

"No," Thor mumbled out, shaking his head almost frantically. Panic rose like bile at the back of his throat. "No, no, no, Loki, _no_ …" Thor's voice cracked, and suddenly he was crying.

He wasn't sure how, but someway or another he was hugging Amora and they were crying together. Amora knew Loki, too, and it was easy for Thor to forget that. But at that moment he couldn't care less about Amora and Loki's relationship.

"He'd always talk himself out of every kind of trouble possible," Thor choked out into Amora's shoulder. "If there was a loophole, Loki would find it. If there wasn't one, he'd make one."

Amora gave a watery smile. "That was Loki for you," she said softly.

Thor stepped back from Amora. "He can't be dead," Thor said again, but they rang with no more conviction than they did before. The words rung hollow and false, and the only thing Thor wanted was for those words to be true. "There has to be something else you can do."

"There isn't," answered Amora, voice quiet. She takes his hand, blue eyes fixed on his. "Thor, we aren't gods like the mortals believe us to be. You know that."

Before Thor could speak, another razor-sharp, sardonic voice cut in. "Well, I don't know about _that_ ," drawled Loki's voice, faintly amused.

Thor and Amora froze.

"What the hell?" gasped out Amora, face flushed.

But Thor, Thor is trembling from head to foot. That _voice_ , that sarcastic tone, that hint of dry amusement. It stirred up memories, so vivid and sharp that Thor almost kneels over from the intensity of it.

He turns around, and time itself seems to slow as it waits, breathless, for the god of thunder.

It is Loki.

He is standing up at the edge of the table his body had just been lying on, brilliant green eyes dancing with merriment, black hair rumpled up.

Loki was smiling faintly, but his features sharpen into surprise as a shaking Thor tightly grips his arm.

"Loki?" Thor breathed, not daring to hope.

Loki looked considerably confused. "Thor, why are you acting so—" that was as far as he got before Thor tightly enveloped him into a hug.

Thor sobbed again as he hugged Loki's familiar frame, rocking back and forth. It was _Loki_ , his brother, he was _here_. The spell had worked. Thor may have lost everything, but he had his brother back. He laughed through his tears.

Loki instantly stiffened, but relaxed after a few beats, letting out an indignant sound and trying in vain to squirm out of Thor's tight embrace. When Thor proved immovable, he let out a huff and awkwardly attempted to hug back.

"Alright, I get it," Loki said dryly, "you're glad to see me. Please get _off_ me now."

Reluctantly, Thor let go of Loki, who quickly stepped back. His sharp gaze scanned the room, falling eventually upon Amora, who stood watching them.

Loki appraised her coolly. "Amora," he said courteously, with a formal nod.

Amora arched an eyebrow. "Odinson."

Loki turned back to Thor. "Thor, what exactly are we doing here?" Loki asked, mouth pressed into a thin line.

Amora barked a laugh. "What's wrong, trickster, aren't you happy to see me?"

"I'm not," snapped back Loki. "Quite frankly, I don't trust you."

He glared at Thor. "Now, you big blond oaf, tell me _why the hell_ we're here."

Thor opened his mouth, glanced at Amora for help, then shut it again. He clenched his jaw, trying to clamp down that overwhelming feeling of joy so he could come up with some believable lie to fool the god of lies himself.

Thankfully, Amora rescued him. "What do you remember?" she asked swiftly. "You suffered from a substantial head injury. I need to make sure it hasn't messed with your brain."

When Loki looked to him for confirmation before answering Amora, Thor felt ridiculously warm inside.

"I had just given Thanos the Tesseract," said Loki, gaze flitting nervously between Thor and Amora, as if trying to decipher some impenetrable mystery. "And, er, Thanos defeated the Hulk, I believe." His forehead scrunched in effort. "I don't recall anything beyond that."

Relief like icy cold water flooded through Thor. Loki didn't remember.

Amora didn't betray the slightest thing in her face. "Well, that makes sense, then," she lied flawlessly. "You were knocked unconscious by one of Thanos' Children. Thanos blew up the ship using the Power Stone as he was leaving, and Thor called in that Favor from a couple of centuries ago. Unfortunately, I reminded him that he had only _one_ favor, not two, so I could only snatch one of you to safety. The choice he made was obvious."

Loki sent Thor an indecipherable look, but nodded slowly. "Oh," he dragged, but a sudden, swift change came over his face. " _Oh_ ," he breathed slowly. "He got away?" Loki might as well have said that _"Thor, you_ let _him get away?"_ written all over his face.

Thor resisted the childish urge to snap back, _Well, I didn't see you faring much better,_ and instead said diplomatically, "I'll tell you about it when we get back."

Loki pursed his lips. "Get back where, exactly?"

With an unwelcome surge of understanding, Thor remembered that Loki didn't know about the Snap. Loki didn't know about _anything_ , and guess what, it was Thor's job to enlighten him.

Not that Thor was complaining. He'd explain the terrible story an infinite number of times if it brought Loki back.

"Midgard," said Thor briskly, and he gave a brusque nod towards Amora. "Amora, if you would?"

"Gladly," she said, and that was the last thing they heard before the two brothers were whisked off back to Wakanda.

—

When they arrived back in Thor's room, he was surprised to discover that it was still night, and that the sun wouldn't rise for another few hours. The whole exchange with Amora had occurred in less than an hour.

Loki, meanwhile, in typical Loki fashion, was surveying Thor's simple bedroom with a faint air of disgust. Thor had to admit that in comparison to their lavish bedrooms on Asgard, it was a big jump. But the more comfortable rooms of the palace were being used for the wounded. Anyways, Thor had never really been one for pomp and finery, while Loki refused to be seen unless he was perfectly attired.

Loki slid with apparent graceful ease onto Thor's bed. Keen green eyes fixated on Thor, and he pressed his long fingers together, waiting expectantly. "Go on, now, tell me," he urged, almost mockingly. "Tel me what horrible disaster Thanos has unleashed upon the universe."

Thor sighed and flopped himself into a rather hard armchair, not even trying to mimic Loki's elegance. "He destroyed half the universe," he said with any preparation.

Loki twitched, but other than that, he didn't allow any emotion to betray him. "I should've expected it," he answered at last. "He had this crazy dream about destroying half the universe so the other half will have enough resources to survive. Well, anyway, go on. Tell me what's happened."

After Loki made another impatient noise, Thor sighed again and began to delve into the tale.

Thor was no stranger to telling stories. After every one of his great conquests, Thor would stand up on the table with mead sloshing in his cup, and then would proceed to tell the tale, filled with embellishments and exaggerations. But this was not like that. He told the plain, bald-faced truth, starting with his encounter with the Guardians.

At the mention of the green-skinned daughter of Thanos, Loki stiffened. "What did you say her name was?" he asked almost anxiously.

Thor shrugged. He hadn't really held on to that bit of knowledge, and anyway, she isn't terribly important in _his_ version of the story. "I forgot," he said, meaning to continue, but Loki cut in again.

"Was it Gamora?" he asked, and something odd flashed across his eyes.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure it was," Thor answered, getting the impression that she was somewhat important to Loki. "Why? Did you know her?"

"Where did she say she was going?" Loki demanded, voice almost _panicky_.

"To meet Thanos before he gets the Aether," said Thor. "But he got the six Infinity Stones in the end anyway, so I'm guessing they weren't successful."

Thor regretted his casual tone the moment those words left his lips. Loki went unnaturally pale and stiffened. "Oh," was all that left his lips.

Thor wasn't sure what to say next. "Do you know her?" he asked again.

Loki was taking his own cool time in replying, but Thor waited for him patiently. Finally, Thor's question seemed to register to Loki, and the trickster let out a dry bark of laughter.

"Knew her?" he asked, almost amused. "Yeah, I guess you could say I knew her. You probably should've thanked her on the ship. She was the only thing keeping me sane while Thanos tortured me."

Every muscle in Thor's body tensed. " _Tortured?_ "

"What else do you think he was doing, drinking tea with me as we discussed strategies to take over the world?" Loki asked irritably. "After I fell from the Bifrost, Thanos wasn't exactly _pleased_ to see me on his homeworld."

Thor's mouth felt dry. In essence, Thor thought that _was_ what they had doing.

 _Where is the Tesseract?_ That was all Thor had barked at Loki after seeing him on Midgard. His gut churned.

Loki looked as shaken as Thor felt, both brothers disturbed for different reasons. But Loki eventually snapped his fingers in front of Thor's face.

"Keep going," he ordered, and after gathering himself together and forced himself not to demand answers from Loki, Thor did.

When he got to Stormbreaker, Thor felt a flush of pleasure when he saw the curiosity and excitement gleam in Loki's eye. Most things that Thor told Loki about failed to gain interest from the younger man, and when Thor did manage to interest Loki, he reveled in it.

"Let me see," said Loki, demanding as always.

Thor picked up Stormbreaker in his hand, holding it out for Loki to inspect, and Loki's eyes sparkled. He stood up, fingers dragging over the surface of the hammer.

"Damn, Thor, you've got yourself a powerful hammer," Loki said in awe. "Her potency is nearly double Mjolnir's. I can feel the power thrumming beneath my fingers." He glanced up at Thor. "And you say the Tree provided the handle?"

Thor answered all of Loki's questions, watching his childish delight with affection, feeling so sappy that eventually Loki scowled at him and told him to wipe that 'disgustingly sentimental' look off his face.

Finally Thor got back into his story. He went over his entrance into the battle in Wakanda (and perhaps exaggerated his entrance a little bit). Undeniably, the incident with his foolish, foolish choice to throw the hammer at Thanos' heart rather than the head had to come up.

Loki took it surprisingly well, in fact, he was probably the best person to take it. "You mean you _penetrated_ Thanos?" he asked.

"I _also_ failed to kill him," Thor pointed out.

"Well, that's true," Loki said, "but you're just being Thor. _Thor_ never thinks before he acts."

Thor would've grown angry with anyone else, but Loki, he decided, was an exception. To show he was just being affectionate, Loki punched Thor on the shoulder lightly and laughed.

"So what if Stark or Banner or someone else would've aimed more sensibly at the head rather than the heart?" said Loki with a half-grin. " _They_ don't have the power to do so. That's _their_ problem. You're the one with the power, and for some Thor-ishly obscure reason, you threw it at the heart. What's done is done, and you can't exactly go back in time and change that."

Although Loki's idea of a 'pep-talk' was infinitely more discouraging than Natasha and Bruce's _It's not your fault,_ Thor felt oddly comforted by the frank way Loki perceived the matter. Of course, whether Loki actually felt that way about the whole issue or was just saying it to 'comfort' Thor was an entirely different issue.

Thor exhaled slowly. "What do we do now?"

Loki bit his lip. "I can't imagine the mortals'll be terribly frightened of me _now_ after facing Thanos," he said dryly. "If it's fine with you, I'll stay here."

The thought of Loki not staying hadn't even occurred to Thor. "Of course it's fine," he said quickly.

Thor glanced at the bed. It was huge, even for Thor, and with just a little bit of effort the two of them could fit. "I guess we should sleep now?"

"Nah," said Loki, dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand. "I'm not tired, and I can tell you aren't either. Let's spar."

"What?"

Loki got up and stretched lazily like a cat. "Come at me," he said, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Or are you too afraid to do so without your precious hammer?"

That did it. Loki imprudently opened his middle, taunting Thor, and in a moment the two of them fell tumbling to the ground.

Thor first felt the urge to soften his blows, but after a few seconds of trying and failing to successfully land a hit on Loki, he changed his mind. Thor was stronger, true, but Loki was more agile and graceful, flowing between Thor's blows like water and managing to hit a few solid ones too.

When Thor finally managed to hit a strong blow on Loki's stomach, Loki staggered back, grimacing and doubling over in pain. Thor froze, and stretched out a hand unthinkingly. "Brother—"

With a cruel grin, Loki flipped Thor over with some complicated twist of his hand, and once again they were both on the ground.

Where Thor once was somewhat slow but strong, the past few years trained him to be fast, yet still powerful. He caught Loki's wrist as it began to strike out, kicked his legs out and caught his brother in a bear-hug.

It wasn't the wisest of positions where Loki was concerned, however, as Loki had an annoying but surprisingly effective habit of biting his opponents, and his teeth were alarmingly sharp.

But Loki didn't bite. Instead, he slapped the ground in surrender, and Thor immediately let him go.

"Well met, brother," Thor said with a grin.

"Hardly well met at all," muttered Loki, "and scarcely any meeting besides. I used to have a chance, you know, brawling with you unarmed."

"Have you heard of this other Midgardian thing, _arm-wrestling_?" Thor asked.

Ah, Thor recognized _that_ look. That look Loki gave when Thor spoke about something that Loki himself didn't know. Loki was prideful in all things generally, but he was the most proud about his knowledge. _Nobody_ could know anything Loki didn't, and especially not Thor. If Thor did, then Loki would never, _ever_ ask about it, but rather find out what it is in some sly, underhanded way.

"Thor, I am _not_ a fool," Loki said airily. "I know what arm-wrestling is."

Thor hid a smile. "Then let's go at it."

It was Steve who introduced arm-wrestling to Thor, after the Ultron incident. Thor could remember the days when the problems of the Avengers had simply been the Chitauri, 'Hydra', and evil robots created by Stark. Ah, those were the good days.

Loki was _good_ , carefully allowing Thor to sit down first and get into position. He quickly mimicked Thor's actions, resting his elbow on the table and holding up his fist.

Thor demonstrated how to 'play', and just as he'd thought, Loki seemed fascinated by the game.

The first round, Thor won easily. He held down Loki's hand for 3 seconds as required, but Loki wasn't in the least bit put off.

"Again," he said, green eyes narrowed intently. Thor expected some brilliant strategy the second time, but once again Thor easily pushed down Loki's hand to the table.

Loki kept demanding they go over and over again, until by the sixth time Thor already grew bored. "One last time," Loki said when Thor stated that he was growing tired.

Thor was idly wondering exactly what pleasure Loki got from losing over and over again, when a sudden force of brute strength forced his powerful arm all the way down. Thor's jaw dropped.

Quickly, right after Loki counted 'two', Thor flipped Loki's hand over and pressed it down for 5 long seconds, just for good measure.

But Loki was grinning, looking remarkably pleased with himself despite the fact that Thor won all the rounds.

" _Never_ underestimate your opponent," Loki admonished. "They may seem weaker in every aspect, but always prepare for the worst, and you won't be disappointed."

Thor smiled. "Duly noted."

Loki raised a hand to cover a yawn. "I think I'll call it a day," he said, throwing himself onto the bed. "Coming?"

"Mmm," nodded Thor, but in all honesty he wasn't tired.

He flopped down next to Loki, who'd already buried himself underneath the blankets, so all that could be seen of him was a mop of messy black hair.

Thor smiled at the sight. The last time they had shared a bed was _ages_ ago. He reached out to ruffle Loki's hair, but anticipating the movement, Loki reached up and slapped away. "Don't even think about it," Loki warned, voice muffled by the thick blankets.

Thor grinned again, then lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. This was going to be a long night, because Thor couldn't be more awake.

At least, that was what he thought before oblivion overtook him and he sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.

—

Panic overtook Thor when he awoke.

Loki wasn't lying next to him.

Thor shot up like an arrow, blearily opening his eyes. He scanned the room as best as he could in his half-groggy state, until he saw Loki silhouetted in front of the window.

Satisfied, Thor fell back into the sheets with a groan. But it was impossible to sleep with the brilliant sunshine digging into his eyes.

Wait. _Sunshine?_

As Thor peered out the window, he saw that the sun was at its highest peak. "Loki, what's the time?" he asked sleepily, pushing his face into the pillow.

"It's twelve," Loki said. "And I'm hungry. Let's go eat now."

Thor rolled over with a yawn. "You put a sleeping spell on me, you bastard," he accused without any real heat.

"You obviously weren't going to sleep anytime soon," Loki pointed out. He walked over to Thor and yanked the blankets off him. "Get up now, you great oaf. I'm hungry, and I doubt I'll be allowed anywhere without _you_."

Thor forced his eyes open. Loki was already dressed, hair cut neatly and slicked back in the style he used to wear it back on Asgard, rather than the more wild style he'd taken to wearing now. He was dressed in Midgardian clothing, fitted black jeans, a crisp, formal white shirt, and a dark green v-neck sweater.

Loki's spell still hadn't worn off, and Thor felt like he was moving through thick syrup as he went through the motions of dressing. He didn't have the heart, however, to vehemently curse Loki, because just a few hours ago Loki was _dead_.

Reality hit Thor the moment Loki bustled him out the door.

Thor had told Natasha Loki was dead. She most likely knew he was a poor liar, and that Thor would never convincingly pull off such a heartbreaking display of emotion. What would she think, then, when Thor marched in with a very much alive Loki?

What would _Loki_ think when Natasha came up to them, demanding answers?

Thor could _never_ pull off lying to the two of them. The only option left for Thor was to ditch Loki, find Natasha, and beg for her not to say anything to Loki. But her reaction was unable to be anticipated in Thor's mind. Of all the Avengers, Natasha was the one Thor was the least comfortable with. And anyway, Loki wouldn't let Thor leave without asking awkward questions that Thor really couldn't answer.

Thor had little to no plausible ideas, and he was saved from his musings when he ran into Steve Rogers.

Steve nodded when he saw Thor, but did a double-take the moment his gaze fell on Loki.

"Thor," acknowledged Steve. He frowned at the sight of Loki, not hiding his mistrust.

"Captain," Loki cut in swiftly, voice a smooth, rich purr. "Let me say personally that I deeply regret any—"

Thor knew that with his silver words, Loki could worm reluctant approval from Steve to wander around with _out_ supervision, but Thor wasn't planning on letting him.

"Steve, I can vouch for Loki," interrupted Thor, voice rough with sleep. "I swear I won't let him out of my sight for one instant."

Thor was suddenly struck by how weary Steve looked. Most likely he hadn't gotten any sleep last night, judging from the heavy circles beneath his eyes. Yet there was a grim resolve in his face, a hard, decisive set to his features that said this was man who was going to fight _back_ , who wasn't going to let Thanos get away with this.

"Fine," said Steve, thinly veiling his disapproval. "But if he causes trouble, Thor, that's on you."

Thor resisted the urge to bite back, and forced himself to see things from Steve's point of view. His whole world had been driven into chaos, and Steve was struggling to make things right. He really didn't need another Loki issue, minor as it may seem compared with the havoc Thanos had wreaked.

"Very well," agreed Thor, preparing to walk away. But Steve caught his arm.

"Tony's back, with…someone else," Steve said. "I was coming to wake you."

"Stark?" Thor asked. Much to his shame, in the heat of the moment and the ache of the aftermath, Thor had nearly forgotten about the man. He'd absently assumed Stark was battling the creatures elsewhere. "Where _was_ he?"

"It's a long story," answered Steve. "We're having a meeting now." He hesitated. "Thor, Tony's…lost people."

Thor laughed without humor. "Who hasn't?"

"But you know Tony," said Steve. "You know how he gets. He's angry, Thor. Be easy on him." It wasn't Thor that Steve was looking at.

Loki's lips twitched, but whether in amusement or irritation was impossible to tell. "I can assure you, good Captain, that I have no intention of riling up Stark," he assured mockingly.

Steve chose to take it sincerely. "Good."

Without mentioning whether or not Loki should be present at the meeting, which was what Thor was currently pondering over, Steve turned around and walked in the opposite direction. After sending Loki a sideways glance, Thor followed suit.

Steve led them to a large door, that was closed shut. He stopped and turned to them again. "Everyone's in there," he said. "Thor, if they want all don't want Loki present for the meeting, there isn't much I can do."

"I understand," said Thor graciously. Then he put his hand on the doorknob and swung the door open.

—

The moment Thor stepped into the room, all eyes turned to him. But Thor had eyes for no one except for one.

He searched for Natasha's keen grey-green eyes and fixated upon them. She had already taken in the sight of Loki hovering behind Thor.

 _Please, Natasha, please don't say anything,_ he pleaded with his eyes, trying to show everything he could in their blue depths. _Please, please, I'm_ begging _you._

Her expression, which had only shown the slightest flicker when Loki stepped in, was cool and unresponsive. But after a few beats, she nodded her head in the subtlest of shakes.

Relief flooded through Thor, and he offered a faint smile of gratitude before turning away.

After this, the next thing Thor was aware of was Loki's stiff stance. Thor turned to see the object which commanded Loki's attention.

She was a cyborg, colored a deep blue-purple all over with intense, deep black eyes. A cruel smirk twisted her mechanical features at the sight of Loki.

"Laufeyson," she sneered.

Loki's lips tightened. "Nebula."

Steve was already sitting down, so Thor dragged Loki with him to a seat next to Rocket and Bruce, and made Loki sit on Thor's other side, with Steve sitting next to Loki as well.

"Before we begin," said Steve, taking charge of the meeting, "does anyone have any concerns about Loki being here?"

A few people unfamiliar to Loki exchanged glances, but no one was willing to say anything. Thor relaxed a little bit.

" _I_ do," said Clint suddenly, who Thor noticed for the first time. Natasha laid a warning hand on Clint's arm, but he shook it off.

Before Steve could speak, however, Loki interrupted smoothly. "If I may, Captain," he said, turning and addressing the whole room in general. "If you have qualms about _me_ staying in this room, I'd like to point out that you've accepted the mass-murdering, genocidal daughter of the madman Thanos himself." He gestured mildly at Nebula, who hissed and sat up sharply.

Thor could see the glint of mischief in Loki's eye, and had no doubt that the trickster will have the entire table arguing with each other in a matter of minutes. This meeting wasn't going to go anywhere unless Thor stepped in.

He banged the table to get attention. "Listen, we're not going to get anywhere if we begin arguing," he said loudly. "Loki and Nebula _both_ have valuable information about Thanos, and we need everything we can get."

Loki was annoyed, Nebula was furious, and Clint was unsatisfied, but in all it was better than the chaos it would've been if Loki had gotten his way.

"Would someone care to explain _what_ happened here when Thanos arrived?" asked Stark, speaking for the first time.

So bit by bit, the whole story leaked out. Thor hated the feeling of inadequacy he felt when he narrated how he'd failed to kill Thanos. He knew each one of them secretly blamed Thor for the losses of their loved ones. Silently, Loki squeezed his arm in wordless support, and Thor felt warm inside.

When Nebula spoke of the death of all the Guardians, Rocket got up abruptly and left. Nobody tried to stop him.

And when Nebula went on to describe how Thanos had most likely gotten the Soul Stone—by sacrificing Gamora, Loki got up and left too.

Thor might've been needed at that meeting, but at the moment his brother needed him more. After murmuring "I'll be a minute" to Steve, Thor got up and followed Loki.

To Thor's relief, Loki had not attempted to hide. He was sitting outside, and you could see him quite easily from a large window near the meeting room. To save himself a good deal of trouble, Thor opened the window and using Stormbreaker, he flew down.

Loki was leaning against a large tree, staring absently ahead of him. Thor skidded to a stop as gently as he could, then after awkwardly glancing about him, sat down next to Loki.

"I told you she was the only one to keep me sane while I was with Thanos," Loki said after a moment. "I only knew her for six months. But when you only speak with one person who doesn't end up torturing you for half a year, you form a relationship with them."

Thor raised an eyebrow. "So you and her…" he gestured vaguely. Loki made a face.

"No, _no_ , of course not," he said. "She was, er, I'm not sure what to…"

"Friend," Thor supplied, almost teasingly. For all Loki's years on Asgard, Thor didn't think he had a single person to call 'friend' other than Thor himself. He had a string of admirers and followers, true, because Loki could be good company when he chose, for he was witty and, well, _interesting_. But Loki never had a true friend, not like Thor had Sif and the Warriors Three.

Loki barked out a laugh. " _Friend_ ," he echoed. "Yeah, I guess you might call her that."

A branch cracked suddenly in front of them, and the heads of both brothers jerked up.

Sheepishly, Bruce Banner stepped into the clearing. "Cap's announced a twenty minute break," he said by way of explanation. "I was just hanging around here, then I ran into _you_."

Bruce smiled weakly at Loki, who smirked back. " _Anyways_ ," said Bruce awkwardly, "I'll best be going now—holy _shit_ Thor, what the hell is wrong with Loki?!"

Thor was already turning, freezing at the sight of Loki. His rich green irises had frosted over so they were a dead, grey color. His face was pale white, gaunt, and devoid of emotion.

" _Loki_ ," Thor growled, already leaping to his feet. He put out a hand and gripped the solid, comforting handle of Stormbreaker. "Loki, what are you _doing_? What's wrong?"

Loki was completely rigid, body unnaturally stiff and blank.

And then he _lunged_.

With inhumane strength, Loki slammed into Bruce's side, sending them both sprawling to the floor. Loki wrapped his hands around Bruce's neck and began to squeeze. Bruce convulsed, thrashing out wildly. A throb of green ran quickly through his veins.

 _Oh shit, the Hulk_.

Feeling heavy with guilt, Thor kicked into Loki's side with all the force he could muster. Loki's body slammed into a tree nearby.

Quickly, Thor dropped to his knees. "Bruce?" he said urgently, keeping a wary eye on Loki the entire time. What was _wrong_ with Loki? Could Loki have been playing him in some elaborate game this entire time? No, the _thing_ that had attacked Bruce wasn't Loki.

Bruce groaned, and his eyes fluttered open. "Thor?" he asked stupidly, fumbling about for his glasses. "Thor, what the hell just happened? I thought you said Loki was _safe_?"

Loki was stirring now. Thor had to be quick.

He bustled Banner up to his feet. "Listen, Bruce, I'm sorry, this is all my fault," he said, aware he was blabbering. "But you don't understand. Just—just give me a few moments with Loki. _Please_ don't tell anyone, I swear I'll explain it to you in a minute. This won't ever happen again, I promise. Now _get out of here_!"

Bruce flashed Thor a quick, unreadable glance, then did just that.

And not a moment too soon. Thor was suddenly and painfully aware of Loki throwing himself onto him, punching him nearly everywhere he could find.

Thor tried to be gentle, really, he _did_ , but this Loki was just so damn strong. His attacks weren't calculated and deadly like the real Loki's, but this possessed version of Loki had a whole ton of force behind his random, pointless punches.

" _Loki_ ," Thor growled out while rapidly dodging blows. "This isn't you. Snap out of it. It's _me,_ Thor."

Thor didn't dare use his lightning or Stormbreaker, for fear he would permanently damage Loki. Damn it, what the _hell_ was going on?

That was when Loki stopped. He froze, standing opposite Thor, who called Stormbreaker to his hand. He threateningly held it out towards Loki, despite knowing that he would _never_ use it on his brother.

"Loki, this is stupid," declared Thor. "Stand down. I swear _I will kill you_."

Loki stiffened, then ever-so-slowly put his hands in the air. Thor felt relieved, yet those cold, dead eyes still unnerved him. "Loki.." Thor began.

That was as far as he got before a knife embedded itself into his chest.

Thor staggered backwards with a cry of pain, black spots dancing in front of his vision. Surprisingly, after the initial shock and blinding pain, all Thor could feel was a numb iciness.

And _that_ was when he realized Stormbreaker was no longer in his hand.

As if by instinct, the axe-hammer was speeding across the air, aimed towards the one who had so grievously wounded Thor.

" _No_!" cried out Thor, trying to summon her back, call her back, _anything_.

But it was too late. Thor could only watch in slow motion as the hammer struck Loki's heart in a fatal blow.

And for the second time in the past week, Loki's body tumbled lifelessly to the ground.

Thor screamed, forgetting about the dull ache in his side. He fought off unconsciousness, forcing himself to stumble forward before falling over his brother's body.

"Loki, Loki, _no,_ please brother, I'm sorry," breathed out Thor, heart beating far too fast to be healthy. "Loki, please."

Then an idea struck Thor. It was such a horrible, revolting thing to do, yet Thor had no other option.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Thor struck Loki's body with a powerful bolt of lightning. Then, struggling to recall the spell, Thor spoke the ancient, cursed words.

Loki's body twitched.

Warmth enveloped Thor. Loki was alive. That was enough for him.

He was barely aware of someone screaming his name, of brilliantly green eyes cursing him and pulling off his shirt, examining his injury.

It didn't matter anymore.

Thor closed his eyes and surrendered to the darkness.

—

 **A/N - muah ha ha ha _ha_! **

**And don't hesitate to review. I treasure each and every single one of them, and they are what motivate me to keep writing.**

 **TRIGGERING CONTENT: _Someone_ is raised from the dead. Later in the chapter, he/she is killed, then raised from the dead again. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Okay, so I have lots of things to say, but I'll try to make it quick. One, thank you so much for your encouraging reviews, readers, they're what made me finally get my shit together, sit down, and write this chapter. Two, this chapter was supposed to be a lot longer. Like, three times as long, and it was supposed to be finished too. But I kind of just gave up and decided to publish it as it is. Three, I'm really sorry for my lateness, but as far as excuses go I don't think mine is half-bad? I kind of got sucked into the hellhole that is the Supernatural fandom, and believe it or not I binged the show in two months (I would not recommend doing that, I skipped a ton of filler episodes too) and now I'm fishing through all the Destiel fan fiction there is. I'm also trying to write a supernatural fanfic, but I shoved that to the side so I could finish this. Many thanks to all the readers who stuck with me!**

—

Thor woke with a start.

He was in a clinical, airy, crisp little room, lying down comfortably. He was sleepy, warm and hazy, but most decidedly wasn't dead.

He sat up sharply, everything coming back to him in a flash. He was shirtless, and instantly his fingers lightly ran over the spot on his chest where the wound should've been.

It isn't there. All that remained of it was a faint scar.

Thor falls back onto the plush, white pillows with a sigh, closing his eyes. Apparently the wound wasn't quite as serious as Thor had thought.

"They did a good job," said a familiar female voice.

Thor blinked, and his gaze fell upon Natasha. She was leaning back in a leather armchair next to his bed, dressed comfortably with supple legs crossed.

Thor sat up with a groan. "What happened?" he asked, voice hoarse. He bit his lip. "Where's Loki?"

Natasha sat up as well, resting her elbows on her knees and surveying him with her intense, keen stare. "After the… _accident_ ," she said carefully, "Loki, Tony and Bruce spent all day working on you, and worked on you all through the night, too. To be fair, I wasn't much of a help, but I just managed to bustle them all to bed now. I wouldn't advise you to go waking Loki up now."

She pressed the tips of her fingers together. "That's not all," she said. "The dagger which struck you was poisoned, and apparently it was Loki's."

Thor resisted the urge to groan aloud. He needed to think of a good, believable lie to fool everybody, unless Loki had spun up his own version of the events. In that case, Thor should probably keep his mouth shut until he spoke with Loki.

He sighed. "I expect you want answers," he said.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Answers?"

"About why Loki turned up, _alive_ ," Thor pointed out, "after I clearly told you that he died."

Natasha let out a short laugh. "Thor, I doubt there's an Avenger here that doesn't keep secrets," she said. "I keep secrets, too, probably more than you'd ever guess. I'm not going to worm your secret out of you."

She gave him a serious look, but stood up to leave. Then she paused, hand poised above the doorknob. "A wise person once told me that, It's your life," said Natasha at last, a small smirk gracing her full lips. "You make your own choices." She opened the door, and flashed him one last, searching look.

"But remember that _after_ the choices, then come the consequences," she finished. "Just make sure that the choices are worth the consequences."

Natasha smiled at him. "I"ll be just downstairs if you need me," she said, then stepped out of the door and walked away.

—

After Natasha left, Thor awkwardly changed into the neatly folded clothes that were lying by his bed, trying not to think about what Natasha had said. _Of course_ Loki was worth the consequences.

Thor didn't want to lie in the bed all day like some invalid, so he attempted to get up. He was only faintly nauseous, and all that remained of the wound was an ache. Bearable, but painful nonetheless.

He swung his legs to the side of the bed and gingerly lowered himself to the ground. Biting back the wave of dizziness that threatened to bring him to his knees, Thor somehow managed to stumble out the door.

 _No._ Thor wasn't going to walk out of this room, staggering like a drunk idiot. He inhaled deeply, then let it out as slowly as possible. _You are fine, Thor,_ he told himself. _Now just breathe._

No doubt Stormbreaker was still lying outside. He swung open a window, stretched out his hand and called her to him. She chose the path of least resistance, and fortunately, without a single crash, Stormbreaker landed in his hand.

Her firm, steady grip in his grasp steadied him. Thor swung her a couple of times, and forced himself to keep doing it until the nausea wore off. He finally hooked her onto his belt and leaned against the wall, trying to make some believable lie as to why he was almost fatally stabbed with Loki's dagger. Natasha may've surprisingly accepted his wish of privacy, but the others most certainly wouldn't.

While Thor was pondering his dilemma, and sincerely wishing he had Loki to help him, a voice caused his head to jerk up suddenly, cursing the guilty look that was almost certainly on his face.

"Thor!" said Bruce in surprise. "I just came to see how you were doing, but you shouldn't be up yet. How're you feeling?"

"Just peachy," answered Thor with a wide, false smile. Damn it, here come the inevitable questions. Thor was going to hold them off for as long as he could.

He refused to look weak and use the wall for support, so he stood upright. "Natasha told me you and Tony were working on me all night," Thor said. "Thank you for that. You've done an amazing job, I honestly feel as good as new." Well, that wasn't exactly true, but maybe buttering up Bruce'll do the trick.

Thor chose to omit Loki's name on purpose, despite knowing from Natasha that his brother helped Tony and Bruce. Drawing attention to Loki's name would only be unwanted.

However, there was a reason Thor wasn't named the god of lies. Omitting Loki's name, as Loki himself could've told Thor quite easily, will only cause Bruce to mention it.

"Loki helped too, quite a bit," Bruce said, and Thor cringed inside. But Bruce wasn't asking the questions quite yet. "I doubt we'd have been able to patch you up so well if it hadn't been for him."

"He didn't look too good, though," Bruce added as an afterthought. "You might want to see if he's okay."

A pause. Bruce sent him a searching look. "Thor, about what happened earlier…"

Thor really wasn't in the mood. The thought of how stressed out Loki must be at the moment had just occurred to him, much to his shame. But Thor couldn't snap at Bruce like he wanted too—Bruce had likely just helped save his life, and he deserved better.

"Bruce, I really need to talk with my brother right now," he cut in. "And I don't want to explain everything right now. It's a long story." Thor was struck with a sudden inspiration. "But I just told Natasha about everything," he lied. "Would you mind asking her?"

There was no doubt that lie would backfire on him later, but getting to Loki at the moment was all Thor cared about. He sent Bruce a beseeching look.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," said Bruce. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs," lied Thor again. "And do you happen to know where Loki is?"

With luck, Bruce'll wander around upstairs for a while before eventually coming downstairs and finding Natasha.

"He's in your room," Bruce said. "There wasn't time to get him his own." Thor nodded distractedly.

"Thanks," Thor said, before walking away and bracing himself to face the music.

—

The music…turned out to be even worse than he expected.

The moment Thor stepped into his room, he was roughly taken and shoved against the wall, a deadly, sharp blade held to his throat. The hand that held the blade was shaking badly.

"Loki?" Thor ventured, but Loki cut him off with a hiss.

"What. The. Fucking. Hell. Have. You. Done." Loki's voice was razor-sharp and left no room for excuses.

Thor swallowed. Trying to bluff his way out of it was foolish, but he had to try. "What—what do you mean?" said Thor, mouth dry.

Loki's glare was heated. "My magic is off, moving like syrup through my veins, like an element foreign to me," he bit out fiercely. " _You_ are acting like a jumpy rabbit around me. Then I suddenly black out, and when I wake up my dagger is buried in your chest. Now tell me, _brother_. _What have you done with me_?"

Thor opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it and pressed his lips together stubbornly.

Loki swore. He opened his mouth to further interrogate Thor, but then closed it, apparently getting a better idea.

Thor got an uneasy feeling. "Brother?" he asked, stomach knotting.

Loki sent him an almost sad look. "I'm sorry," was all he said, before tapping Thor's forehead.

And in a few moments, the two of them tumbled into Thor's memories.

—

 _"I know what it's like to lose._

 _To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail nonetheless. As lightning turns the legs to jelly, I ask you, to what end?_

 _Dread it, run from it…Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here._

 _Or should I say…I am."_

 _Thor's breathing was heavy, hoarse and erratic. "You talk too much."_

 _Thanos turned away from Thor as though he were no more than a pesky insect. His gaze fixated on Loki, who was standing stiffly in front of him._

 _"The Tesseract, or, your brother's head. I assume you have a preference?"_

 _Loki smirked, a cruel edge to it. "Oh, I do. Kill away."_

 _As unimaginable pain built in Thor's head, tears began to form quickly in Loki's eyes. His face was unnaturally still and impassive, and he was resisting the urge to turn away._

 _"All right,_ stop _!"_

 _Thanos stopped instantly, and Thor gasped in relief. "We don't have the Tesseract," he managed. "It was destroyed on Asgard."_

 _Neither Thanos nor Loki looked at him. Loki's face was heavy with guilt, and the Tesseract formed in Loki's hand._

 _"You really are the worst, brother," said Thor, trying to hid fear and panic bubbling up his throat. Thanos had the next Infinity Stone in his grasp._

 _Loki finally met Thor's eye. "I assure you, brother," he said, voice unusually soft, "the sun will shine upon us again."_

 _Thanos scoffed. "Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian."_

 _"Well, for one thing," replied Loki, "I'm not Asgardian." His eyes narrowed. "And for another, we have a Hulk."_

 _Everything else happened in a blur, the defeat of the Hulk, and the death of Heimdall. Thor was barely watching, trying to form some sort of escape plan. He couldn't simply_ sit _here while half his people lay slaughtered._

 _Ebony Maw held out the Tesseract to Thanos, and his cruel voice rang out as he sank to a knee. "My humble personage bows before your grandeur. No other being has ever had the might, nay the nobility, to wield not one, but 2 Infinity Stones. The universe lies within your grasp."_

 _Thanos crushed the Tesseract in his hand, revealing the radiant, blue Space Stone, and placed it onto his Infinity Gauntlet. He looked up._

 _"There are two more Stones on Earth," he said. "Find them, my Children, and bring them to me on Titan."_

 _Proxima Midnight inclined her head. "Father, we will not fail you."_

 _Then a familiar, smooth, sly voice rang out. "If I might interject," interrupted Loki, stepping forward, "If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena."_

 _Once again, fear settled at the back of Thor's mouth like a bad taste._ What _was Loki doing? Didn't he know who he was dealing with?_

 _Thanos sneered. "If you consider_ failure _experience."_

 _As always, Loki was quick to answer. "I consider experience, experience," he retorted._

 _He continued walking forward to Thanos. "Almighty Thanos," Loki declared. "I, Loki, Prince of Asgard, Odinson," he sent Thor a quick, almost apologetic look. A long blade is forming in his hand, and Loki is making sure Thor sees it._

 _Ice-cold horror trickled down Thor's spine. No, Loki wasn't supposed to do_ this _. He was supposed to sneak around on the sidelines, waiting for an opportunity to strike. He wasn't supposed to do_ this _._

 _To attack_ Thanos _._

 _"The rightful king of Jotunheim," Loki continued, turning back to Thanos, "God of Mischief…do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity."_

 _With a flick of the wrist, Loki thrust the long blade at Thanos with all the strength he could muster. Thanos stopped it easily, smirking. "Undying?" he asked. "You should choose your words more carefully."_

 _If there wasn't that damned strip of metal gagging him, Thor would've begged, and he never begged. He would've begged Thanos for Loki's life, to take his instead, to spare Loki in exchange for_ anything _._

 _He never got the chance._

 _Too soon, Thanos' huge hand was around Loki's neck, choking the life out of him. Thor was screaming and trashing and sobbing all at once, kicking out wildly. Loki was gagging, but somehow he managed to speak._

 _"You…will never…be…a god," he choked out, and Thor sobbed harder. Loki let out one last, gasped-out cry, and then he stilled, and Thor with him._

Loki. No.

 _With another smirk, Thanos threw Loki's body in front of a stunned, horrified Thor._

 _"No resurrections this time," he taunted._

That was the last thing Thor remembered before he opened his eyes and met Loki's green ones.

—

Thor had no idea what to say. He doubted there _was_ a right thing to say at all.

The knife that had been pressed against the delicate skin on Thor's clattered to the ground. Loki barely seemed to have noticed, but stood there, stock-still and struck numb.

Thor swallowed, mouth dry. "Loki…"

Loki finally met his eyes, green eyes bright with unshed tears. "So I—I died, then." His voice was flat and had an odd, unnatural ring to it.

Thor didn't answer, but it must have been written plainly on his face. Loki let out a slow breath.

"Why did you bring me back?" His voice was quiet and soft, almost deceptively so.

Thor knew that when it came to Loki, trying to come up with something Loki might want to hear would never end up the desired way, so he decided to say the truth, the only thing he could say.

"You're my brother, Loki," he said, raw honesty in his voice. "I can't—I can't imagine living without you."

Loki stiffened but said nothing. The silence was tense.

"Amora did it, I'm guessing," he said, voice hollow.

Thor nodded, watching him anxiously for any flickers of emotions on his face.

"It all makes sense now," Loki murmured to himself. "The strange feelings. The cold shudder I get at sudden times. The whispers in my ear…the failure of my magic." He turned his eyes to Thor. "You raised me from the dead."

Thor bit his lip. "Yes."

Loki stepped back from his threatening stance against Thor. He leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thor," he said, voice dangerously gentle. "You can't _do_ that. You can't just…bring me back like that."

Immediately, Thor went on the defensive. "And why not?"

"Because that goes against the very laws of _nature_!" Loki cried out suddenly. "Don't you think I wanted to do that? For Mother? But bringing back someone from the dead is defying the very way of life itself, it's defying the Fates, the _Norns_. It's twisting the very fabric of reality to suit your own purposes and needs. Even you have to see there's something vaguely _wrong_ with that!"

"The only thing I see wrong," retorted Thor, "is that the Norns took you away from me. I'm just taking you back."

"Is that for _you_ to decide though, Thor?" Loki snapped, voice hard and bitter. "Have you even considered the idea that I'd _want_ to be dead? Do you think I didn't know Thanos would see through my foolish attempt to kill him? Of course I knew I was going to die, but I did it anyway!"

Thor said nothing. He wanted to snap back that it was Loki who'd asked to be brought back, but mentioning that would only cause Loki unnecessary pain, so he stayed silent.

But Loki didn't. "You didn't do it for me at all, you selfish bastard," he bit out in disgust. "You did it for yourself. You can't live without me, your damned little _brother_ , so you brought me back. You can tell yourself you're noble, or whatever the hell makes you sleep better, but the fact remains. You brought me back for your own selfish reasons."

"You _begged_ me to!" Thor roared impulsively. "I don't know how, but you came back, Loki, and you begged me not to let them take you away. What was I supposed to _do_?"

The words stopped Loki in his tracks, and he paused, mouth half-open with eyes glassy.

"I hate you," Loki spat. He turned to leave, back tensed and fists clenched.

"Loki—" Thor said, voice trailing off helplessly. He stretched out an arm towards Loki and grabbed his shoulder.

Loki shrugged Thor's hand off. "Fuck you," he said, with such vehemence and hatred in his voice that Thor recoiled.

Green eyes glittering, Loki stormed out the door.

—

 **A/N - The ending may seem rushed, but it is what it is. I, like most fanfic writers, live off reviews. I appreciate every single one of them :)**


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